Blonde jokes-old but.......
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death
in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on
the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a
really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so
the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner
saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into
the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees
and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew
a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are
you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed
her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You
need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for
glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left
eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the
eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,
covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he
did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set
on wire frames.
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a
silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things
hot and some things cold."
"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy
it!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he
asked.
"Why, that's a thermos, it keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blonde replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee"
***************
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of
golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his
bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's
golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him
thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
; ******************
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around.
This should make all you technologically challenged people
feel GOOD:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he
decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its
features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said,
"how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your
voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death
in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on
the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a
really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so
the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner
saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into
the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees
and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew
a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are
you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed
her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You
need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for
glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left
eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the
eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,
covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he
did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set
on wire frames.
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a
silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things
hot and some things cold."
"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy
it!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he
asked.
"Why, that's a thermos, it keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blonde replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee"
***************
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of
golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his
bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's
golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him
thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
; ******************
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around.
This should make all you technologically challenged people
feel GOOD:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he
decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its
features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said,
"how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your
voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"